Do you believe the COVID-19 narrative?

Us: So what's happening?

Them: There's a virus in China. People are dying.

Us: Nothing for us to worry about though?

Them: Well, it is spreading from country to country...

Us: Like SARS, MERS, Zika, and lots of others did?

Them: It's just been declared a pandemic.

Us: Do we need to wear masks, like in China?

Them: No, masks don't work... and can be dangerous to your health.

Us: But we're being locked down now?

Them: Just briefly, to "flatten the curve".

Us: So I can't open my business?

Them: No, much too dangerous.

Us: Are there any treatments?

Them: No, just go home and self-isolate.

Us: What about hydroxychloroquine?

Them: Woah! Far too dangerous, we need to wait for a vaccine.

Us: How long will it take to produce a vaccine?

Them: Best case scenario would be 12 to 18 months, but that's very optimistic.

Us: Should I take Vitamin D, or maybe get some more exercise and slim down a bit?

Them: You could, but we don't really know if it helps.

Us: Now I have to wear a mask in the shops?

Them: Yes, we need to stop the spread.

Us: But you said masks didn't work.

Them: New research.

Us: How about ivermectin as a treatment, it looks promising.

Them: ...

Us: Hello...? Ivermectin?

Them: We need to wait for a vaccine.

Us: Will a vaccine be safe?

Them: Of course it will, you can be sure the pharma companies will take all necessary precautions.

Us: When can I re-open my business? I can't pay my bills.

Them: Here's some free money, stay at home and watch Netflix for a while.

Us: When will this all end?

Them: Well, we're going into the second wave now, so back to lockdowns for a short while again.

Us: I don't think I can take any more...

Them: Oh, wait, we have developed a vaccine.

Us: Wow, that was quick.

Them: Yes, it's super new technology... never been used on people before now.

Us: Does it work?

Them: 93% effective.

Us: What does that mean?

Them: Don't worry about that, just line up here and roll up your sleeve...